Homesick aka When Will the Leaves Change?

Well, every year around this time I start to get tired of the heat and the summer. I begin to long for the autumn. This is usually accompanied by a rash of buying apple cider, cooking with pumpkin, and frantically searching the supermarket for the perfect apple. Meanwhile I suffer through the disappointment of each footstep outside not providing that delicious crackle of dead leaves. But what I long for most is the crispness of a cool day, the wisps of breath condensing in air, and the smell of wood fires curling away from chimneys.



Normally, these longings would be ameliorated by a combination of convincing myself to enjoy the remaining warm weather while it lasts and the impending autumn itself. This year, I have neither of those comforts. Instead, I have continued heat, humidity, and hideous produce at the supermarket. (Yeah, hideous produce, went to the store today and the quality of the lettuce and broccoli available was nauseating.) This year will likely be almost completely lacking in apple cider, pumpkin, wood fires, colorful leaves, caramel apples, and most importantly, cold weather.

I am sure that that will get to me soon enough, but for now the lack of hope is leading to an even more dreary situation, homesickness. Yeah, its true, for as much as I'm enjoying Qatar, its just too damn hot for my constitution. And turning the air conditioner way down is NOT the same.



I like snow, cold weather, curling up in front of a fire, scarves, boots, layers of clothing, shoveling the driveway, snow angels, rosy cheeks, icicles, orange, red, and yellow leaves, the works. I love my job here, don't get me wrong, and I love the people. But I'm beginning to feel that this just isn't going to be home for me.

There is more to this story though. Home has always been mutable for me, with my family moving as much as they did, it kinda had to be. I've found a way to make anywhere I am, home at that point. But this time, I have somewhere I'd really prefer to be. And that is near Sophie. They say that home is where the heart is. In this case, my heart is in Maine, with Sophie and my family.



The two are tied though. One of the first presents that Sophie ever gave me was a beautiful warm scarf. Some of my favorite memories from childhood are playing in the leaves and snow with my family. The most delicious fall foods are found in abundance in Maine and cooked to perfection by my family and my Sophie.

I am here now, and I do not regret that. I am making the most of it, and will continue to do so. But it is becoming increasingly clear to me as time progresses where I would like to be next. Until then, I guess I will have to find ways to make my favorite dishes with substitute ingredients. I also plan on enjoying every minute that I have in this adventure and spending plenty of times with the incredible friends that I am making.

In the end, I will find my home.