I learned that lesson over the last couple months. Four months ago I met a girl who quickly convinced me that she was a blithering idiot and a surefire wear on my patience. She spoke too much, too loudly, and seemingly without thinking. She blatantly insulted me and didn't notice. In fact, months ago I wrote a passage in this blog about her and how much she had pissed me off.
Fast forward to yesterday and you find me driving back from the airport with tears streaming down my cheeks after dropping her off. I had said goodbye to a wonderful friend and was missing her presence within minutes. I had said goodbye alone, at four in the morning, because she had wanted me to be there for one final hug.
So why the change? How did I swing from derision and distaste to a platonic love?
It began as another of my friends and I began to search for a destination to travel to over Eid break. We settled on India, but soon our travel companions decided instead to go to Thailand. So we put out that we were looking for others to join us, and Emily (the girl this entry is about) jumped at the opportunity. I'm pretty sure that I set a world record for groaning and eye rolling when I heard that she'd be coming. But, I knew we needed more people in the group, so I didn't object. And I made a fateful promise to myself. Over the next couple weeks before we left for India, I decided to get to know Emily and find a way to handle her presence. I was not going to let her ruin my trip to India.
So I started hanging out with her more often. At first it was with others, and then the two of us alone. We watched movies and I tried once (unsuccessfully) to teach her squash. I went to her board game night. And we talked. Check that, she talked. And talked. And talked. Finally, one night, I talked too, and told her how much she pissed me off. It worked, and we began to talk openly and honestly with one another. And as time went on, we became comfortable doing just that. She no longer felt the need to show off her (honestly vast) intelligence and I know longer felt the need to sit there quietly contemplating murder. I learned to tell her when she upset me, and she learned to relax and be pleasant.
By the time we left for India, we were at a comfortable level. I wasn't ready to consider her a close friend, but I understood her and why she did the things she did. She ended up being a wonderful addition to our group, even if we ended up spending a good deal of time waiting for her to finish sari shopping.
When we got back, we continued to hang out. No longer out of necessity (in my mind) but now out of mutual pleasure and shared experiences. We grew closer and closer. Slowly, she became the person that I was able to complain about work to, cuddle with when I missed my girlfriend, and play games with when bored. I found out all about her passion for computer programming, baking, beading, and cats. She found out all about my passion for Sophie, cats, cooking, and much more. We bonded together over fear and confusion about our respective career futures and commiserated over missing loved ones.
I have a lot of wonderful friends here in Qatar that I love very much. I wouldn't trade any of them for the world. But remarkably, after such a rocky start, she became the closest. She was my confidante, my cuddle buddy, and my dependable presence.
Now she has gone back to the States, where I pray she will get the job she is interviewing for in San Francisco. Our lives have separated, and we will surely go on as before. I have my friends, my family, and my darling girlfriend, and she has hers. But I will never forget how she touched my life and taught me not to disregard people. For that and the months of friendship that came as a result of it, I thank her and love her.
Emily, you made me a better person.
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